| More release |
[18 Oct 2008|08:03pm] |
*sigh*
Long talk today. Went well, I just neede to remember it everytime I start to get stressed out. I just need to think: it's only time.
She's lovely, I'm irresistable. tada!
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| more daily crap |
[18 Oct 2008|02:01pm] |
So I don't get how you break up with someone and still fuck them. At least when it's a long term relationship. maybe it's because they aren't really broken up at all, and as per the usual, I'm fucked over into being just an object of affection. But let's think positive, let's try and do this. Um...
Uh...
If it really is just a matter of time, how can I make it until that time without fucking it up? finding out things like this is really irratating. I wanna talk about it, but is it my place? Probably not. She gets the best of both worlds I get a half assed....
She's just confused. She just needs me to support her, I think. I should just ignore it when I figure things out...
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| Blargh. |
[16 Oct 2008|08:50pm] |
Let's see. I feel like I'm losing today, But I feel as though I know I am not losing. That time is all that matters. Someone told me that today. It was very nice. I guess I'm doing the right things, you know? Hehe...
But I just hate not KNOWING I'm doing the right thing.
I guess that's what really gets to me.
That I doubt wether or not I am doing the right thing.
So...
I AM doing the right thing.
Time is all that matters.
yay?
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| Readers |
[16 Oct 2008|02:22am] |
if your reading this, don't. like, the only plan I have to write in it is when I'm not happy, at least for the next little while, so if you see me on a regular basis, don't bother reading my journal for a while. If I have any problems, I will go privat but I don't want to do that because feedback from a couple people would b nice, especially theones I don't seetoo often.
Night night, I feel great now! :)
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| Melancholy |
[16 Oct 2008|02:14am] |
Argh. depression. I'm so used to it it doesn't bother me, but I need to fight it! I said I would. But how can I win? you know? how can I think positive? Argh. I can. I need patience. I need to believe I should be happy, and other people want me to be happy, and wll try and make me happy, I just need to wait. they(her and others) have problems of their own to deal with. wow, this has really cheered me up. it makes me feel good, like all I need to be happy is effort. hehe.
yay!
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| Life |
[20 Jun 2008|11:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 listless |
] |
Can't say I've been very happy as of late.
I feel like I'm going to lose the only home I've ever had due to money and half of us not having jobs....
My best friend think I like his girlfriend, which is just a horrible untruth. Not even a half truth.
I need money real bad, and my glasses are in a horrible state of disrepair. I'm about to lose my insurance...
My "i" key on my keyboard is sticking REALLY ANNOYINGLY.
Starting to get lonely, and I never talk to Lisa anymore... I guess I dunno what to think about that situation.
I guess I avoid thinking too much.
I just can't seem to bring myself to be social...
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| Daily journal |
[23 Feb 2008|01:52am] |
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Decent day, got a whole lot done, got my life all in order, just wish i had someone to enjoy it with. got lonely today. Not like me. Bad omen. Found a song for the worst case scenario. Smile in your sleep.
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[21 Feb 2008|02:13am] |
Been trying to keep up with the entries even though I'm not thinking much lately (it got too difficult). The facts Got to just be overwhelming about the only situation whose outcome was interesting to me, so, I ditched having an active thought process on it. Take me for a ride baby, I trust you.
One second they look up, next second the look down. But that's women, life, the universe, and everything. The good thing is that I'm looking at them, not along for the ride. I like my stability just fine, don't fuck with it, you won't like me if you do.
Blah Blah, purple heart.
My car is gone for good... mixed feelings, but it's for the better.
Why do I only like the damaged and/or girls?"
I'll tell you a secret, it's because I am too.
:3
"if love is a labor, I'll slave to the end"
Anywhoo, Life is enjoyable, and I'm going to enjoy it. hopefully it will be more enjoyable soon.
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| Daily Journal |
[20 Feb 2008|01:21am] |
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Real Quick, feeling lazy. Good day, finally managed to talk to Lisa about things, wached AMV VCA 2008, More tomorrow/later.
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| This is all I can Post.... |
[18 Feb 2008|07:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crushed |
] |
New Years Day:Saying Goodbye
From LyricWiki
I've got this funny feeling
that I just don't don't belong here
and your eyes make it clear
you're just like a chameleon
you change your skin
for anyone that has the time
to give you there's
but I don't really care
this is me saying goodbye
but not just for tonight
this is the final exit
I should have made so long ago
why did I wait
I've got this funny feeling
that I just don't don't belong here
yeah, your eyes make it so clear
you only have the time
when you're bored
I'm not being selfish
I'm just being ignored
your making a scene, yeah
but the scene's not making me
Saying Goodbye Lyrics
this is me saying goodbye
but not just for tonight
this is the final exit
I should have made so long ago
why did I wait
why do we wait
when it makes no difference
all the same mistakes
over and over again
this is me saying goodbye
but not just for tonight
this is the final exit
I should have made so long ago
why did I wait
this is me saying goodbye
but not just for tonight
and if you really want to make this right
you'll do something before the clock strikes
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| Daily Journal |
[17 Feb 2008|01:26pm] |
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No entry yesterday, just a slow day. Lisa wanted to hang out, but I didn't have the time, and i think she'll be "busy" today, so bleh. these post might have to become friends only, because Ari decided she wants to flame me over the fact that I said she and Matt were bickering. How fucking retarded is that? But, I told myself if I was going to start a journal again, I'd have to write independent of what anyone thinks, or its a pointless endeavor. Actually, If she keeps posting negatively, I'll just report abuse. I have a few friends that read this that don't want to get livejournals. Anywhoo Been fixing my computer and playing guitar hero. Life is good, I just, need to make it a little better. The situation with Lisa seems to be more annoying, It's been like 2 weeks, and I've seen her for 5 minutes... well, actually, upon deeper thought, The first week she was depressed, and now she's trying to make money/job hunt/have fun, so maybe I'm the one being unreasonable.... yeah, I think so. I think my brain is empty, so back to the computer work.
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| Daily Journal |
[15 Feb 2008|09:44pm] |
*yawn*
Very slow, boring day. Worked, Drove home, Filed my state taxes (I owe the ONE DOLLAR) WHAT THE FUCK! But whatever. I miss hosting, and going to parties, but I dunno If I can do much about it... Probably not. Probably losing my car monday. Been in a very bouncy mood today, Tried salvia erlier, it's ok, nothing to special, definately not worth the price, I don't think. Lisa's out at a party, I'm at home alone, Ian's at a wedding, I didn't end up going to the movie, maybe tomorrow. Ari and Matt have been bickering all day, yuck. So, to some it up, bored and moody all day.
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| Daily Journal |
[14 Feb 2008|07:17pm] |
Good day, Good mood, gave Lisa her present and had a nice chat with her, She may come back later.
Side note: DAMN YOU JAPAN! just when I phase most of it out of my life I find this (the music and show):
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| The Matches |
[13 Feb 2008|03:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 chipper |
] |
"The album was leaked on February 11, 2008. Harris wrote the following on the band's Blog in response to the leak:
By chance, today marks the official unofficial CD release party of our new album A Band In Hope! It has leaked. The tiger is out of the ziplock. How may you make payment to the musicians who created it? Glad you wondered. When you download or rip the album, do something nice for a stranger. Give a dollar to one.org. Jumpstart a car. Give a rose to an old woman eating alone. Leave an open ended love letter in someone’s shoe at the gym. But actually, those examples are not as great as the ones you will come up with! Take a video of it on your camera or cameraphone or if you don’t have that, take a photo, or draw a picture, and send it to us (or yousendit.com it if it’s a big file) to us at abandinhopepayment@gmail.com Of course, when March 18th rolls around, it’s still hugely helpful to us if you buy the record. Yet we only ask that you purchase it if you love it and/or want to/ have the means to support us. Eagerly awaiting brilliant directorial debuts of good karma stirring."
Now that is an awesome band.
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| Daily Journal |
[13 Feb 2008|02:13pm] |
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Sorry journal not going to be able to un-obfuscate my thoughts on this one. But I'm a liar, and an actor. Being dead inside helps, not that sad kind of dead, just that, I can't have complex emotions kind of dead. They're a person I left enough of me with to still ignite that soul though. I do it to make her smile. When she leaves for this long, I forget who she is, I'm just left with this, odd feeling that a care a lot about a stranger. Less confusing thoughts later, I'm having a good day so far. :D
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| Daily Journal |
[12 Feb 2008|11:48am] |
Just Reading, barely slept last night due to TheMissingHat.
Thought this was interesting:
"Some studies have suggested a significant correlation between creativity and bipolar disorder. However, the relationship between the disorder and creativity is still very unclear.[3][4][5] One study indicated increased striving for, and sometimes attaining, goals and achievements.[6] While the disorder affects people differently, individuals with bipolar disorder tend to be much more outgoing and daring than individuals without bipolar disorder. The disorder is also found in a large number of people involved in the arts. It is an ongoing study as to why many creative geniuses had bipolar disorder."
waiting on Lisa, she said she wanted to file taxes, Other than that, I'm relaxing, I'm tired as shit. Probably watch deathnote. More as it develops.
EDIT: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder Very interesting reading indeed.
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| "Project upstream" |
[12 Feb 2008|12:46am] |
So this is what happened after some deduction that that Salmon was a spoofed mirror.
GenkiMonkey777: ?
GenkiMonkey777: Hello?
GenkiMonkey777: gfnbgf
GenkiMonkey777: nhgf
GenkiMonkey777: mnh
GenkiMonkey777: jgm
GenkiMonkey777: jhgm
GenkiMonkey777: jhm
GenkiMonkey777: jhm
GenkiMonkey777: jhm
GenkiMonkey777: jhm
SerializedSalmon: what do you want from us?
SerializedSalmon: I don't speak monkey
GenkiMonkey777: Us?
GenkiMonkey777: Who the crap is us?
GenkiMonkey777: Neo?
SerializedSalmon: leave us and the precioussss alone.
SerializedSalmon: It's just me
GenkiMonkey777: What?
GenkiMonkey777: Me who?
GenkiMonkey777: Is your name SerializedSalmon?
SerializedSalmon: yes. why?
GenkiMonkey777: What the hell are you doing?
SerializedSalmon: Sorry about that, there was an error in our servers and you recieved bits and pieces of occuring conversations along with our intended responces.
SerializedSalmon: Now what is it you want?
GenkiMonkey777: To know what the crap is going on involving project upstream.
GenkiMonkey777: ?
SerializedSalmon: Well, I don't think that's going to happen.
SerializedSalmon: So sorry.
SerializedSalmon: Hi.
SerializedSalmon: ?
GenkiMonkey777: WHAT
SerializedSalmon: WHAT
GenkiMonkey777: No...
SerializedSalmon: No...
GenkiMonkey777: Lovely, you bounced me back to myself.
SerializedSalmon: Lovely, you bounced me back to myself.
GenkiMonkey777: FUCKERS
SerializedSalmon: FUCKERS
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| Wierd... |
[11 Feb 2008|10:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
I just got a message out of the blue...
SerializedSalmon (10:24:26 PM): nothing's gonna change my world.
GenkiMonkey777 (10:24:41 PM): What world is thaT?
SerializedSalmon (10:25:02 PM): ..who are you?
GenkiMonkey777 (10:25:11 PM): Who are you...?
GenkiMonkey777 (10:25:48 PM): C'mon now...
GenkiMonkey777 (10:26:54 PM): Hello? you have me intruiged.
SerializedSalmon (10:27:23 PM): well, it happens
GenkiMonkey777 (10:27:51 PM): Christian Here, VB, VA?
GenkiMonkey777 (10:27:53 PM): And you?
SerializedSalmon (10:28:12 PM): what?
SerializedSalmon (10:28:15 PM): i'm stephanie
GenkiMonkey777 (10:28:29 PM): Where the crap did you get this aim from?
SerializedSalmon (10:28:44 PM): i didn't
SerializedSalmon (10:28:48 PM): you IMed me
GenkiMonkey777 (10:29:02 PM): No I didn't.
GenkiMonkey777 (10:29:10 PM): What...?
SerializedSalmon (10:29:31 PM): well, i don't know
GenkiMonkey777 (10:29:57 PM): Right, Well this has been odd, Ciao.
SerializedSalmon (10:30:03 PM): okay
SerializedSalmon (10:30:08 PM): have a pleasant life
GenkiMonkey777 (10:30:21 PM): ...are you sure I don't know you?
GenkiMonkey777 (10:30:25 PM): Where are you from?
SerializedSalmon (10:30:35 PM): i'm pretty damn sure
SerializedSalmon (10:30:46 PM): i'm from california....
GenkiMonkey777 (10:31:15 PM): Been a decade since of been there, so, yup. enjoy existance.
SerializedSalmon (10:31:25 PM): okay
So weird Video:
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